There have been a number of milestones in my children’s lives which I have been quite happy to not be the first one to witness, and wobbly teeth is one of them!  These days it seems every which way I turn, there is a nigh on 7 year old poking their tongue through a gummy gap, jiggling the wobbly tooth back and forth, side to side, basically in any ghoulish direction they can.  I hate wobbly teeth.  I can’t bear to look at them, touch them or think about them.

When DS and DD wish to give me an almost hourly update on wobble status I squeeze my eyes shut tight, recoil in horror and tell them to talk to Daddy!  Unfortunately for me they think this reaction is hilarious and have told all their friends!  So now, at school pick up, I am chased by a crazed gang of kids tugging at their teeth, whether they are loose or not – just for a laugh!  When we have playdates at home, DD is now in the habit of saying to her friends ‘watch this’, running up to me and proceeding to contort her tongue and wobbly tooth/teeth into the most yukky positions whilst her friends giggle uncontrollably.

Once they fall out, I quickly wrap them in tissue paper ready for the Tooth Fairy’s visit.  5 teeth down and only 37 more to go, I am beginning to resent the glamourous role of the Tooth Fairy in all of this.  She swoops in after all the blood and gore, leaves a few coins (and, sometimes paper money, depending on place of the tooth in the milk teeth ‘pecking order’) to collect a brightly polished tooth and flits right on out of there to search under the next pillow.

At the very least, I think I am entitled to some sort of compensation for the emotional and psychological distress (as well as the humiliation) suffered in helping the Tooth Fairy build her pearly white mansion!