Usually, and I am embarrassed to say this, the topics of conversation at our dinner table are rather limited. ‘Poop’, ‘farting’ and ‘burping’ are recurring themes. Cringeworthy, I know. However, recently the topic has turned to the boys’ favourite sport – football. Still not my preference but better, and slightly more interesting than bodily functions.
Yesterday, DS2 announced that Manchester United is the best country in the world. Now, sons born to a Liverpool fan (note I didn’t say ‘fans’. Used to be a LP fan but I am not afraid to admit, I have given up on them! Actually, I gave up on them a long time ago), the mere mention of the dark side, Man U, warrants being locked in the stocks in the garden and lambasted with rotten citrus fruits. The penalty for suggesting Man U is a country should be deportation. But, given DS2 is only 4, no iPad playing would get the message through soon enough!
Naturally, I corrected him about his lack of geographical knowledge and DS1 supported me in relegating Man U to its rightful place of a football team and not a country.
But, we were not singing from the same hymn sheet!
‘Manchester United is NOT a country. Manchester United is in India’, he announced with the authority of David Attenborough.
I nearly choked on my spaghetti.
When I could catch my breath, I felt the need to correct DS1. Otherwise DH would think I spend my afternoons brainwashing them against the repeatedly unsuccessful Liverpool sides of the last 2 decades!
‘Manchester United is not in India’, I scoffed.
Adamant he was right, DS1 continued to repeat what he thought was Man U’s heritage.
‘H supports Manchester United, and he is from India’ he argued.
One of DS1’s good schoolfriends is Indian. He supports Manchester United. DS1 thinks it is your duty to support your ‘home’ side. Therefore, to a 6 year old who does not support Man U and whose good buddy, who happens to be Indian and does, Manchester United is Indian!
To DH’s chargrin, that means FC Barcelona is part of Team GB!
Note: Having told an avid, avid, avid, in fact, the most avid Man U supporter I have ever met , about this conversation, he declared ‘DS2 is very wise, indeed’. According to him, Manchester United is more than a country; it is a universe!