and these include things I swore I would never say as they were babies….

1. Because I said so…..(in response to their eternally repeated sentences which always seem to start with ‘why?’)

2. If only I had known what it would really be like….

3. Why doesn’t anyone tell you what it is really like?!!!!

4. (To DH) – How much do you reckon boarding school in the UK costs?

5. Work is easier than being a parent.

6. If you don’t let me brush the tangles from your hair, I will cut it as short as your brothers’.

7. If you don’t stop doing that/tidy that up/do your homework/[insert any offence in here!], you will have no TV for a week (not that I think this kind of ‘punishment’ is severe but rather because I thought my babies would never dare step a foot out of line…..).

8. I can’t wait until they are teenagers and they don’t get up before noon, and they only grunt at me…..(in response to the many pre-6am starts which are generally heralded by incessant noise, shouting and high pitched screaming that bores oh soo painfully through my ears/brain for what seems like every minute of the day).

9. Are you really going out in that? (If I were to say this, I thought it might be in 7 years time and to my DD….not right now to DS2!!!….).

10. Seriously…do you ever stop farting?  The fart offender finds this hilarious!