As I was in the throes of cooking the family’s favourite dinner, a roast, DS1 entered the kitchen backwards, speaking to his siblings in what sounded like a very serious tone. Busying myself with turning the roast potatoes and preparing the veggies, I caught the tail end of one of DS1’s life lectures.
Even I was astonished to hear him announce, in all earnestness, ‘I was lucky to survive, really I was’. His attention seeking eyes scanned the room to check to see who was else might be listening. This was clearly an important milestone in his life, and everyone should know. Everyone should know that Mummy and Daddy make potentially fatal mistakes, and this is a perfect example!
‘Yeah, I ate the cupcake and the cupcake paper. I could have died. I didn’t. I was lucky to survive. If the cupcake paper had have been this long (using arms to indicate the length of about 3 metres as he jumped sideways across the kitchen), I would have died. But it wasn’t that long. It came out in my poop. I was so lucky to survive’! he regaled, head nodding, right eyebrow cocked, and an curled corner of the mouth added to emphasise the seriousness of the death defying moment.
DH and I were in fits of silent, suppressed giggles.
This did happen. Well, kind of. When they were about 3 years old DD and DS1 had mini, mini cupcakes (think 2cm wide!). I swear I only turned my back for 5 seconds and I noticed DD’s cupcake paper was not there. I scoured the floor around her high chair, the high chair, my handbag (into which she took pure joy in throwing everything sticky, crumbly, saliva covered, messy gloop). Nothing. The bake paper was nowhere to be found.
We deducted DD probably ate the cupcake paper. It was one of her first ever cupcakes. I know. It was dumb of me to give her a cupcake in paper and expect her to know that not all of it was edible!
I suspect DS1 has heard us re-tell this tale, and decided swallowing greaseproof papered cupcake shells was only something Superheroes do. Girls can’t be Superheroes, but boys can – hence the reason he survived!