Since July, it has taken all my strength to refrain from using what I thought was the ultimate bribe; Santa is watching!  And it was with the excitement and enthusiasm of a 6 year old standing in line to see Santa, that I welcomed the 1st December with open arms….perhaps  now I might have some leverage in the Mummy – little darling discipline game.  Perhaps they will listen to Santa, or at least believe the idea that he and the elves are watching and making detailed pre-Christmas notes!

I know it seems rather at odds with the spirit of the season, but at this stage, I am desperate.  In the past few weeks it feels like every day, at least 2 of my 3 have been possessed.  They can hardly stand to be in the same room as each other, let alone be left to play in the garden.  They squabble over everything, and at least one of them is in tears every 30 seconds.  My daily tears are a given!

It starts the minute I pack them in the car after school pick up.  They leave their classrooms in what appears to be a happy mood.  But, by the time I open the car door, the whining and bickering has started.  Duplicitous little rascals.  The simple request to buckle up before I pull out from my parking spot unleashes a torrent of what feels like blubbering, hormonal emotion, usually from DD.  Red faced and screeching at the top of her mini lungs, she explains in shrill detail that it is all her brothers’ fault for her not being able to click in her seatbelt.  This explanation is quite detailed and long winded.  The pitch is so high, I can’t understand a word she says.  I think she is trying to communicate with a dog or a dolphin or possibly the pointy eared elves to let them know that her brothers are really the naughty ones!

‘Santa and the elves are watching particularly closely these days, guys’ I offer feeling the superpower behind those words waning.

More accusing, more defending, more shrieking.

My head drops and I reach for the volume button on the car radio.

Once home, the homework battle commences.  By this stage I resent school, the teachers, everyone.  How is it my children seem to behave for everyone else, but for me they resemble mini monsters?

As the weather is now so beautiful, I insist they spend as much time in the afternoon in the back garden.  Outside there is enough entertainment: tree house, football goals, rugby balls, volleyball net, basketball hoops…..and of course, they could always use their own imagination!

But no…within seconds they are screaming blue murder at each other, calling each other ‘stinky cheats’ whilst wrestling each other to the ground.  Tired of reffing these tantrum tournaments, I have tried to back off and let them sort it out themselves or to sulk.  But, I have neighbours who would also love to enjoy the fresh, wintry Dubai weather.   If I were them, I would not wish to subject my ears to brawling kids!  Wishing to keep the peace with my neighbours, I order my lot inside.  As they skulk through the back door each one still trying to get in the last shove, push, thump without me seeing, I once again remind them that Santa and the elves are watching!  No reaction, not even the slightest look of fear……..humph!

They have left me with no choice.  Perhaps Santa himself can persuade them to behave.  http://www.portablenorthpole.com it is then!  I wonder how they will react if Santa tells them they are on his ‘naughty’ list!  Watch this space!