Why does every conversation revolve around ‘poo’ or  male appendages?

How is it they manage to inflict at least one injury a day on themselves, even when they are doing the safest of things (am thinking about DS2 who recently catapulted himself, head first over his scooter handlebars only to face plant in the tarmac.  Then the next day, whilst playing tag in the garden, he ran into the badminton net, nearly missing his eye, but marking his face to such an extent he now looks like ‘Scarface’.  DS1, on the other hand, got whacked in the face twice with the Wii remote control because he thought it would be OK to walk in front of Mummy attempting a smash shot!)

Why do they feel the compulsion to annoy their sisters at every chance they get?

Why is it necessary to chew food and then spit it out?

How come they need half a toilet roll for each loo trip?  Seriously, with such tiny derrieres….why do they need so much toilet paper?

Do they ever sleep?  DS1 says he just rests his eyes….Given he is often awake when I go to bed and up before me…this is probably not too far from the truth!

Why does it seem they are in training to be a comedian?

Only boys think ‘farting’ and ‘burping’ are competitions/funny/acceptable/boast-worthy/manly.

How come they manage to turn every game/sport into world war 3?

Gotta say it…..but why do boys seem to get head lice more often than girls???  Must be the regular combat in which they engage!

DS1 was a placid baby in utero…..the little git fooled me completely!

Having said all that….there is nothing like being told ‘you are the most beautifulest (not sure of that spelling!) Mummy in the whole world and I want to marry you’!