Where did that year go????? It seems like only last week my baby, DS2, was clinging to my leg, as I fought back the ‘letting go’ tears and peeled his hands from my leg, finger by finger. The look of betrayal on his red, sweaty, angelic face was like a stake through the heart.
Flash, Boom, Bang, Poof. Arriverderci. Adios. Au revoir. Auf Wiedersehen….you get the gist. It’s the last day of school and he’s on his way to his second school year.
He’s all ‘grown up’ and quite happy to take the next step.
But I am not acting ‘all grown up’ about it…….
Every baby milestone brings out the ‘blubber Mummy’ in me. End of terms, sessions, classes, years, milestones evoke floods of tears. ‘Ends’ of every childhood moment cause me to pause and reflect.
So engrossed was I in each day and its magical moments (including the yelling it took to get homework done!) that I didn’t notice the year pass me by.
Cue jubilant ‘gangnam style dancing’ kids flooding through the sliding doors today at the trill of the school bell. Ready to start the summer break, they looked sooooo incredibly happy to be ‘school-free’. 67 whole days….. NO SCHOOL. A perfect smiley, toothy advert for Colgate….or maybe not given the amount of gummy gaps showing!
The joy on their little faces was infectious. Mums and Dads grinned (more out of relief at the thought of a school-run free couple of months!), and were so thrilled to see the exhilarated faces of the little ones whilst recalling how liberating a day like this can feel.
But today’s ‘day of liberation’ got me thinking. I remember those days. I remember the feeling of ecstasy of not having to execute the daily grind for 2 whole months; shackleless play, pure freedom. I remember it vividly.
BUT, now, as a parent, I see it a little differently. As a mum I see my babies moving on, and I am not quite sure I am ready to move on so quickly. I am happy with where they are. I want them to stay my babies and capture this moment of contentedness. This factor is obviously lost on them.
Today was an emotional day. I watched my bubs skip out of their classrooms without a care in the world. They were not even prompted to look back towards the fabulous teachers who have shaped their lives during the past year. Perhaps they couldn’t bear that last look. Perhaps they didn’t want to take a last look. I guess they didn’t understand.
BUT Mummy did. I wanted to hug (and I did!) those wonderful (in this case) women and not let go. Words couldn’t express the gratitude I felt for the love, care and interest they showed in my children over the past year. They took my baby eggs, nurtured them and kept them safe. Now I have three rounded little beings.
It brought back memories of my days as a 7 year old. I remember the wonderful teacher I had. She was like a second Mum to me; every morning I greeted her with a hug and every afternoon, I hugged her ‘goodbye’.
Don’t get me wrong. I love to see my little chickens grow, learn and experience life. If there is one thing I love about school is the thirst for knowledge it inspires. When they come home excited about what they learned today their excitement and enthusiasm is uplifting. This spurs me on to be more excited about what they will learn tomorrow.
Progressing through school years is a beautiful journey of learning and discovery. I find it helps me re-connect with the simple things that make me happy, and a major part of that is sharing in the love of learning which my children are experiencing.
Like a double edged sword, growing up has its positives and negatives, it’s bitter and it’s sweet. As with much in life, I am learning to give them each equal ‘face time’.