I fear I have fallen behind (way behind) when it comes to fitness fashion.  And, you guessed it, I am going to blame this one on the ankle-biting-urchins!  It’s like when someone asks me if I have seen a certain movie.  The ‘are you serious‘ look I shoot them induces confused discomfort.

‘For the past 7.5 years, I have not seen an adult appropriate movie in a theatre; it has all been about entertaining the little ‘uns’, is my usual ‘snarly’ reply.

And so it is with pretty much everything else.  Last weekend, when we were browsing in a sports shop for DS2’s new Real Madrid football kit, I felt drawn to the rails of womens’ sports gear.  Flicking through the hangers, I was quite surprised at how slinky, sleek and, dare I say it, for exercise gear, sexy it all looked.  Where have I been living?  Gone are the days of trackkie bottoms, sweat bands and comfortable, sweat-absorbing cotton.  Apparently fitness attire has moved on…to the catwalk…..

It’s not just the style that has changed.  It’s all about technology, apparently.  When I say technology I cannot believe I am referring to the actual workout clothes.  Modern day workout kit is made out of stretchy, flattering microfibre fabric which has thick shiny bands strategically placed across specific body parts so as to maximise calorie burn and toning….No longer is working out a science, but it seems the gym dresscode has now become  a science.

One thing which caught my eye, and actually made me do a ‘double take’ was the sticker on the sports bra which read ‘guaranteed to avoid the uniboob’.  I consider myself smart.  I consider myself savvy.  But I had to think about this message.

Then the penny dropped.

‘Oh cra@…..uniboob….is that what it is called?’

I work out at home.  I have done so for the past ‘goodness knows how many’ years (read ‘since I’ve had children’ years).  My closeted working out environment has offered shelter from the modern world of fitness.  Sigh…. I have been wearing the same kit forever and, as an amply endowed woman, I double up on upper body support.  As far as I was concerned an ‘uniboob’ was par for the course, and the price we ‘top heavy’ women pay for sport.

But not anymore.  Women can now work out and, with the ‘avoid the uniboob look’ sports bra can look goooooood……