A pariah

A pariah in the office; that’s what I was.

After the news leaked about my extremely offensive behaviour, it was as if I had been banished to the ‘untouchable’ class.  I would have thought one would need to have committed a monumentally serious offence to sink to such depths of disdain, for example, slurring the company on Facebook, informing clients that there are much better firms than ours out there, telling the CEO to volunteer for medical trials which involve testing if it is possible to grow a brain from scratch to fill the glaringly obvious empty space in his skull, just like scientists can ‘grow’ ears; you know….that kind of thing.

Alas…..it seems not having watched the classic, award winning movie, ‘Braveheart’ is reason enough to be tarred in this way.

For a celt (especially for a celt), it would seem the fact that in (or anytime since for that matter) I did/have not scheduled 3 hours out of my busy life to watch a film about another bunch of celts fighting against the English borders on heresy!

When this came up in chat with a Scottish colleague, I was sure I could use the ‘I haven’t watched a movie which wasn’t PG rated since 2005’  excuse.  But the minor glitch in that excuse was that ‘Braveheart’ previewed a decade earlier than that…..at a point in time when I hadn’t even met my DH……My insistence that I abhor any kind of violence, even glossy Hollywood violence, did not ‘get me out of jail’.  My only other excuse was that, at the time, I lived in Germany……’Braveheart’ in German would surely lose something in translation???!!!

Nope.  Still a ‘pariah’… and even worse, considered a traitor by some.

Last week my incensed Scottish colleague greased my palm with a DVD of ‘Braveheart’.  No words were needed.  The disappointment in her eyes said it all.  Even my Texan office mate shook his head in a devastatingly disappointed way that only experienced Mums know how to inflict.  I had better pay attention.  My office roomie knows ‘Braveheart’ speeches off by heart……Even his William Wallace accent trumps my attempt at Scottish……and indeed those of some of the ‘Braveheart’ actors!

Needless to say, I reserved TV/DVD time on Thursday evening for my ‘Braveheart’ premiere.  I was not particularly happy at having to extend my bedtime by 1 hour, but I just knew I could no longer endure ‘Braveheart’ ignominy.

At the 10 minute mark I was sobbing my heart out.  I texted my Scottish colleague to thank her for ruining my weekend and smudging my make-up…..this is exactly why I haven’t watched the film until now: blood + gore + sorrowful traditional celtic music makes me weep like a baby who has not been fed/slept/pooped for a week.  Hell! Who am I kidding?  Traditional celtic music alone is enough to make me weep.

Despite my questions regarding historical accuracy, I still passed the post-movie interrogation and my status at the office has now been restored to ‘that’ll do’!


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